NES Classic- A Classic case of reseller scamming

Remember that time I wasted a good chunk of a Friday? You see, I spent that time driving around to various stores. Why? Oh, well… First- Dear NES Classic “collectors” who bought out the stores en masse. Fuck You. Sorry. Not collectors. Shitbag resellers who should die in some sort of terrible way I have nothing to do with. You know who you all are. For those who don’t know, Friday was the release of the NES Classic. A small gimmicky console that has 30 original NES games on it. It released and became virtually unattainable due to low stock in … Read more

Switch: Ninten-dooooo that to me one more time.

Nintendo Switch No Nintendo, you stay the same, I’ll change. I rag on Nintendo a lot here. It’s not that I hate Nintendo, quite the opposite. See, it’s like this. Anyone have that friend who’s essentially a nice person, but… goddammit, what a mess, yeah? They just have the shittiest luck, the worst ideas, sparks of brilliance that are immediately dashed when they over-do it. You know the type? For me, let’s name him, Calvin. (He probably doesn’t read my stuff anyhow.) I was once a passenger in a car accident with Calvin. True stories. The sun created a glare on … Read more

Until Dawn: A 2spooky Game Review

Until Dawn

Cuz it’s Halloween. Until Dawn for PS4. A survival horror game. Finally. It’s spooky, and perfectly themed for the season. Made by Supermassive Games, who are mostly known for a whole lot of Little Big Planet DLC, a remake of Killzone I put as much effort into as I did any other Killzone (own them all, finished none, just like everyone), and a Dr. Who game. Ok…. first of all. No one asked for a Dr. Who game. I’M NOT A FAN OF DOCTOR WHO, JUST WARNING YOU NOW. IT CONFUSES ME. Here’s my issue with Dr. Who. You ever stumbled … Read more

Couples who game together… are sexier.

Gaming with your significant other! The 2014 US Census claims that 50% of all Americans are “single.” Lies. If that was true, I wouldn’t be having such a hard time on Farmersonly.com. Of course this also doesn’t take into consideration all of the people who are dating, common law marriage, living in SIN, engaged, living with two ladies, or that awkward time where ya’ll broke up, but ya’ll still living together because shit’s weird, ya’ll know. It gets better tho. Realistically, there’s probably someone out there that you could consider an S/O. (I mean… if there isn’t, come to Board Game … Read more

Fighting Game Tournament this Weekend in Cincinnati

There are certainly much worse ways to spend a weekend than making new friends for a few days of competition in an arcade setting. A 3-day contest of fighting game prowess is sure to test the hand-eye coordination of even the most worthy and formidable gamer. This weekend, Robin Palm plans to give you just that. Hailing from Richmond, Virginia, where he organized the Civil War fighting game tournament series, Robin has taken his event and moved it Westward. Taking place at Arcade Legacy in the Cincinnati Mall, Civil War: Manifest Destiny will be a fight to the finish. “The … Read more

Mom I NEED quarters: An Arcade afterlight

All of my systems in No Man’s Sky are named after every video arcade from my youth. Not ‘hey, I’m going to name this one after a video arcade, and this one after my first pet, and this one after my favorite Taco Bell item from my youth.’ I’m saying every system. Named after every arcade. At least the ones I went to. So flying through my galaxies, you’ll see such systems as Spare Change, Cap’n Bogey’s Golf’n Games, and The Area-51 Machine outside of the Xenia Wal-Mart. As for the planets? Those are all named after video arcade cabinets … Read more

Rax and the greatest of expectations

Rax and the quest for a reclaimed childhood There had been rumors, legends mostly, of a still existing and operating Rax Roast Beef in Ohio. (I’d known of and visited the one in Circleville. While the name and appearance are correct, it pales in comparison to what my memories displayed.) Could it be true? A real life Rax that had somehow completely been missed by the ravages of time and Southern Ohio? Sure, there are a few down south, and tales of them elsewhere, but those simply didn’t capture the true essence of my childhood Rax. You see, Xenia had a Rax. … Read more

Spotlight: Geektronic Gaming Cafe

Geektronic Gaming Cafe

When Lindsey Kessel told me her favorite video game of all time, I have to say I was a little surprised. “A Boy and His Blob,” the 31-year-old aspiring entrepreneur says. “I love it. I also love Bubble Bobble.” The mother of three had rattled off two unexpected entries from the video game treasury. Describing herself as a lifelong gamer, Kessel says she got her first NES at the age of 7. “My grandma actually is a gamer,” Kessel tells me. “She has been gaming since I can remember. I used to get in fights with her because I’d be like, ‘Can … Read more

A Parent’s Guide to What My Kids Love: Pokémon

Attention Parents! With the recent release of Pokémon Go, I’m sure a lot of you are asking yourself a lot of questions. You are in luck, because I just so happen to be a parent, lover of nerdy culture, and a Pokémon player! I am here to introduce you into the world of Pokémon, and hopefully answer a lot of the questions that you have. Now before we begin, I know what a lot of you younger parents are thinking. Yes, this is the same Pokémon that you remember as a child. Both the game and the cartoon are still … Read more

The Nintendo Horror Story: Dun Goofed

and it was at that moment, the players realized….. that Nintendo….. WASN’T EVEN MAKING THE GAME! AAAAAAHHHH!!! Nintendo. Come on. You had it all going for you!! Amazing mobile game (ssssshhhh, no one knew it wasn’t yours) A super mysterious and unknown future system! No stupid tiny system. Oysters, more specifically the world became your bivalve mollusc. Months later. What like… two? Months? Ya Blew it. Now you have: Barely a mention of having any involvement in Pokemon Go. So, on the PG wiki, Nintendo is listed a number of times. But it basically says the concept of the game was … Read more