Couples who game together… are sexier.

Gaming with your significant other!

The 2014 US Census claims that 50% of all Americans are “single.” Lies. If that was true, I wouldn’t be having such a hard time on Farmersonly.com.

Of course this also doesn’t take into consideration all of the people who are dating, common law marriage, living in SIN, engaged, living with two ladies, or that awkward time where ya’ll broke up, but ya’ll still living together because shit’s weird, ya’ll know. It gets better tho.

Realistically, there’s probably someone out there that you could consider an S/O.

(I mean… if there isn’t, come to Board Game Night and we’ll find you a mate.)
(I mean… we’ll try. But don’t count on it. Seriously. Also that’ll be an extra $20)

So you want to play some video games with them? Get them into the hobby you so desperately hide from them and their judgemental eyes? OH HOW THEY JUDGE. Well you are in luck, no more shall you sit on the couch playing with yourself while someone looks on. We’re here to bridge that gap, bust right in, break down those walls, and dive right into a new experience, head-first!

Now, for starters, you might have to play some games that you aren’t necessarily comfortable with, but if this all goes according to plan, you’ll soon be playing with lots of things that make you uncomfortable. Strange, new, large things.

I’ll divide this all up into different categories I think your S/O might like. Trust me, I know what they like. It was in college, you weren’t around, not a big deal.

Just a series of people completely disappointed and disgusted with me.

 

Shooters

Maybe you like a lady who knows her way around a rifle, or a fella who knows how to pop off a shot or two. Perfect. Shooters are arguably the easiest of games for non-gamers to get into. They’re the most common, controls are simple, and lots of selection to go on. The big two would be Call of Duty and Battlefield and all their illegitimate spawn. The nice thing about these two games, you can easily hop on to a match and let your S/O hop on and give it a whirl, they might enjoy it.

The campaigns, survival modes, conquest modes and all other game match styles mean you can have a harem of things to choose, and the developers know that gamers are occasionally sitting side by side, so you’ll often see CO-OP modes too.

But now here’s the thing, co-op modes in shooters especially are starting to die off. The real reason? The systems need their full potency to give you everything you can swallow, splash it all over the screen. Graphically. So before we get any farther, I’ll give you this, and you’ll thank me for it. This site will help you find co-op games. Real simple. You tell them what systems you have and it’ll break down the different games for you based on your sitting arrangement and who all is around to play. I mean realistically, we could stop the article right here.


Naaaaaah, just kidding. We have bills to pay, and quesaritos to buy.

Platformers

Yeah, your Marios and your Little Big Planets and your Raymans and your Ratchet and Clanks. And a whole mess of indy titles to try out. (Guacamelee, Broforce, Spelunky.)  These would be the 2nd easiest things to get into (next to your S/O, heeyoooooo.) And by get into, I mean easy for people to pick up and play with. If you have a PC or a PS4 or… for whatever reason… a Wii U, you have a pretty good selection. For Xbox owners? Not as much, but still some, it’s adequate (Look, I tried to come up with a good Xbox co-op platformer, but I guess you could say I came…. up…. short?)

When checking out games at your local store, be sure to check out the backside to make sure it’ll fit your lifestyle (important life tip overall.) And by that I mean most, if not all, games nowadays will tell you on the case how many people can play, and if those people can be near each other. Otherwise, check the link above.

Platformers are nice in that you don’t have to dedicate as much time to them as you would most other games. Lots of checkpoints, rest areas, and chapters, controls are always fairly straightforward and easy to grasp (something we all should strive for,) and the stories are always solid but not too deep (like your… nevermind)

I seriously can’t stress Little Big Planet enough. It’s a Mario-style platformer, but you can design your own levels, solve puzzles, and play other people’s levels online.  While they only made it for Sony systems, it’s a must-have for any gaming house that has more than one gamer. Great for parties too. Invite the neighbors over, let them play around too. Share, but keep it clean.

Storyline Driven Games

This category is going to be a little all over. These are games where you can play through a storyline, with your lover(s). Gears of War, Divinity, Diablo, Borderlands, Lego ANYTHING, and Marvel Ultimate Alliance. With these games (and a handful of others,) you’re actually playing through a storyline with someone else.

The benefit here is two-fold. You’ll get to game with your pal, but you’ll also get a decent storyline out of it. Shooters have campaigns, but they usually aren’t co-op, at least on the couch. With these games, you can get the best of both worlds. There’s something to a game that has a progressive story too, you both get home and just want to “kill this boss” or “explore this area”, and that’ll keep both of you invested and keep the game interesting. Because the bedroom game certainly ain’t doing it. (heyyyoooooo.)

A number of these games even have individual character development. So, if someone wants to play alone and advance their character, they can. And that’s what really matters, building up your abilities alone so you don’t embarrass yourself around others.

Watching

There’s no shame in it. Whether it’s your roommate in college, a crowd of strangers at a bar, or someone who left their windows open when you’re walking past, it’s fun to watch…. other people game. But the games have to be the right kind to set the mood. Think cinematic games.

You’d be surprised, your significant other might have an interest in watching you play with yourself on the couch, depending on the circumstances and all. Games like Uncharted, The Last of Us, Quantum Break, The Order, and even Assassin’s Creed are just as interesting to watch as they are to play. Graphically they’re all amazing, but since you’re playing by yourself, you never really get to see what it looks like when you just sit back and watch. It’s really incredible. Not you, the game.

It’s just a matter of asking them, or finding out what they want to watch, and you might be surprised. And trust me, if I know them like you know them, they like to watch all sorts of stuff.

giphy-3

In short

Hah. Get it. Like your…you guessed it. In closing, gaming doesn’t necessarily have to be a thing you do alone. You can get other people involved, and you should too. You spend far too much time in the bathroom “playing 3DS or Pokemon Go,” no one believes you.

Try it out, explore some new things. You might not like it at first, but just stick with it, force it down, and you’ll learn to love it in time. It’ll take your relationship to a whole new level, a weird confusing one that I’m a part of.

And if you’re single, there’s always… HuniePop.

 

About Doug

Once asked to leave a video game store for having STRONG opinions on the Zelda timeline, Doug still stands by his correct opinions. He refuses to apologize to that misinformed grandma or to pay for her medical expenses. Wrong is wrong. Born and raised in the finest city of Xenia, he managed to escape the deathclaws of the gaming retail industry mostly intact. He is not a nurse. He does however, have a CIB Virtual Boy on his kitchen table (which you must never touch), an ever-growing collection of video games he proudly calls his “burden for future children”, and a first-name basis with most workers at any Miami Valley Taco Bell. Profusely sweating and swearing as he types every word of every video game commentary or review, he’s glad you’re here.
Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*